I was on top of the world a few months ago on this Jesus high just praising Him for bringing me out of my pit and then all of a sudden BOOM I find myself struggling again to find that inner joy. This morning I took FOREVER finding something to wear to work. I am at that point where a lot of my clothes are HUGE and I look so frumpy wearing them but then I have "skinny" clothes I just can't fit into quite yet. I'm at a weight/size I never saw for very long so I'm struggling finding things to wear and I do NOT want to buy clothes I don't plan on fitting into long. So I felt myself getting frustrated and down. Then it hits me and I'm like ummmmmm hello?!? Why the heck are you down? You should be dancing around your closet because your clothes are too big!! What the heck are you grumbling about I mean come on really?!?? Friends it came to my mind that I absolutely am not going to be happy skinny!! Skinny is not going to bring me inner joy! I have to change the way I think in a BIG WAY!! Hello light bulb above my head how the heck are ya?! It's like this past week's lesson just came at me like a ton of bricks!! It's time to really dig deep and reposition my attitude. To continue to ask God to help me in this because I sure can't do it alone. I end up on depression meds when I try to do it alone and I am NOT going there again!!
I will be honest I have been churching, devotioning, & praying but I have been struggling with balancing God and getting myself in shape. So yesterday I made a date with Jesus.I realized I talk to Him tons throughout the day but I haven't truly just stop & prayed from beginning to end in quite a while. I told Him that I was going to sit down with Him and with my journal and my bible and just talk to Him and in the evening that's what I did. I'm not going to lie I totally fell asleep talking to Him but you know what I journaled and prayed a while (for me) before I did so and it felt so good. This morning I did my devotions and I actually prayed from beginning to end and did not move and go do something else. Today I feel really good!! I am excited! I am expecting God for great things in my life and I'm repositioning my attitude! I had a nail appointment today that I was so excited about but it was canceled due to the tech having poison. I had a moment of pout and then I said you know what life happens I will move on! I am not letting a stupid canceled nail appointment (that I can live without anyway) steal my joy! NOPE NOT HAPPENING! I was given a precious life to live I'm living it right!! It may be rainy today and I may need to go to the grocery store (which is one of my least favorite things to do) but I'm going to create my own sunshine and walk around the Weis Store smiling because life is precious. I need to show God's love and let it be contagious just like the poison the nail tech has. It's time to get my mind off myself and my feelings and onto others and continue to ask for a renewed mind and ask who I can encourage or bless today!
We will live this life to the fullest and shine baby shine!!!!
Have a fabulous day!
♥
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