Helping the Weary

I am struggling trying to figure out my cause in life. What was I created to do? What is my purpose in life? My mind always seems to drift back to music because it's the one thing I enjoy doing for free. I love singing! I still believe that music will be a big part of my life again but lately other ideas are popping into my mind. I would love to open a cafe or even a gym. I love coffee and the different ways you can make it and I love the idea to just sit with a girlfriend over coffee and chat. Opening up a cafe would be fun (or at least the thought of it is). Women are so insecure and to have a gym they feel confident in would be awesome! A gym that holds aerobics and dance and whatever type of class women are interested in! SO FUN!!
**************************
So this week I found two local commercial buildings for sale and I was excited! I have been praying that if it's God's will He will strongly lay it upon my heart to research further. Yesterday I had a wonderful day with my mom, aunt, and mother-in-law. We went shopping and had coffee and just had a leisure day and it was great. They commented on my weight loss and spoke of their struggles and my heart is heavy for them. I know the struggles they face I've been there I get it!! Then a thought crossed my mind..... "why is it working for me this time? what's different? how can i help them?" I couldn't answer that question yesterday.
**************************
Today I went to a cafe with my mother-in-law and it's the cutest organic cafe I just love it so much! My prayer before we got there was that God would inspire me and put a fire in my belly if it's His will for me to open one of my own. I honestly can't say I left their passionate about it~ I love the idea I love coffee but something wasn't 100% there but I will continue to pray over the idea. Later on I did my devotions and the verses were Isaih 50:4-10 and right away verse 4 jumped out at me:


Isaiah 50:4

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ The Sovereign LORD has given me a well-instructed tongue,
to know the word that sustains the weary.
He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.

Jesus was explaining that God gave Him the words and wisdom to encourage the weary. HELLO!?!? The women in my family are weary with the struggles of their weight. Maybe I can help them, motivate them, encourage them! I have a renewed passion on health & fitness maybe I could do a bible study on craving God rather than food. I can base the bible study on the book 'Made to Crave' by Lysa Terkeurst.

                                 I NEED TO HELP THE WEARY

Years ago I worked my booty off and reached my goal weight and I took classes on fitness & nutrition and I was close to getting certified to be a personal trainer/aerobics instructor.... What happened? How did I go from that to almost 200 lbs in what feels like moments? Maybe just maybe I struggled so I would have an even stronger passion for nutrition & fitness and women and their struggles on battling their weight. ?? MAYBE just maybe this is my cause? I don't know but I'm excited about this thought and I will continue to pray about it. I am where I am at with my weight loss only and I mean ONLY through God's strength absolutely not my own. I have failed on my own a bazillion times and that feeling sucks there is no better more sugar coated way to describe it. I was made for a beautiful life and suddenly I can thank God for my struggles because I am about to help people with theirs! I WAS MADE FOR MORE!! I was made to crave......I have a purpose! God has great plans! I'm so excited!

We were created to be God's representatives as we live out loud the message of God in our daily lives. -Lysa Terkeurst from Made to Crave


My friend, today I challenge you to find your cause!

Pushing through

When I started this "diet" journey I knew there would come a time I would hit that blasted brick wall. Losing weight would come to a halt and I would just be exhausted and start making small poor choices which lead to bigger ones which lead to gaining all my weight back and once again be miserable. It's the process I have been through countless times and I knew it would happen but this time I was preparing myself for that moment. I was determined when that moment would come I would be ready! Well praise Jesus that moment hasn't come yet however what I wasn't preparing for was the anxiety/depression to come back. My mood has been so upbeat and I have that inner joy I've been longing for and I know it's from drawing closer to my Jesus. I believe eating properly and exercise and prayer and reading my bible have all helped with me not having to take medication. Then Sunday my mood went downhill and I mean down down debbie down. One minute I was weepy and would cry and the next I was just angry at the world it was pms to the extreme. Come Monday I had a hard time at work so I had to just leave early. I don't understand what went wrong. I did my google research and was trying to figure out if something I ate/drank triggered the mood change or what. I came across this verse the other day:

God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

~ James 1:12, NLT

Am I being tested? Is God trying to figure out if I'm truly ready for what He is calling me to do? I don't know but I was so determined to get out of this horrible mood quick before I allowed it to live inside me again. I do not want to rely on medication either maybe that's stupidity on my part if I do have some kind of chemical imbalance or bipolar disorder or something but I don't want to be on medications if I don't have to.
I made some mistakes with treating others cool earlier this week and I'm not saying I'm out of the woods quite yet but I feel better! I've been spending a lot of time praying and reading and listening to music and just trying to surround myself with positive things. I want the life God has for me!! I want it so badly! I am so ready to fulfill my purpose in life so so so so ready!

Sitting in my car in the garage is like a new thing for me. My little hiding place I guess (I don't even have kids yet LOL) I sit there and recline back and just ask God to speak to me and I try for a moment to just be still and actually listen. Sometimes song lyrics come to me and I jot them down, sometimes He speaks to me, sometimes it's just silent. Last night this song came on the radio and the words......... WOW the words!!

Here are some lyrics incase you don't have access to youtube

Song: Strong Enough
Artist: Matthew West

I know I'm not strong enough to be

Everything that I'm supposed to be

I give up

I'm not stong enough

Hands of mercy won't you cover me 

Lord right now I'm asking you to be

Strong enough

Strong enough

Cause I'm broken

Down to nothing

But I'm still holding on to the one thing

You are God

and you are strong

When I am weak
I can do all things

Through Christ who gives me strength

And I don't have to be

Strong enough

Strong enough

Copied from MetroLyrics.com

I'm not strong enough to get through this diet alone. I am not strong enough to get through life alone but with God's strength I can do anything!

Here is a wonderful devotional that spoke to me today in a HUGE way:

http://www.girlfriendsingod.com/2012/how-to-avoid-bankruptcy-2/

 

Stronger

I am feeling so strong in this moment! I am realizing I am truly capable of anything with God! Pushing myself to reach my full potential is so rewarding but I constantly stop to Praise God for giving me the strength to do it! I am also realizing I had to go through "the storm" to get to this season in life. I truly can enjoy it, embrace it, take it all in and be so so thankful! I can't praise God enough I truly can't!! Tonight I did my devotions and it was Judges 7:2-8 and I'm not going to lie I was thoroughly confused but that's my lack in knowing the word which I am working on. However I have Joyce Meyer's amplified bible and she has little life points and here is what it had for verse 3 in particular:

The Lord instructed Gideon to tell the men who were fearful to turn around and go home; twenty-two thousand of them left, leaving ten thousand behind to face the enemy. That tells us there were more men who were afraid than were courageous.

How many times does God put something on our hearts to do, but then we cower when fear comes along, causing us to hesitate and become double-minded? In this circumstance, we may feel fear, but we can do things afraid. Remember, God's word to us is, "Fear not, for I am with you." When fear knocks on your door, let faith answer!

As I reflect on that I ponder how many opportunities I let go because I was afraid and/or started to doubt things? How many blessings did I or someone else miss out on because I was so double-minded? I can't even allow myself to dwell on the past and only look to now and the future and what I am going to do to make it better! To figure out my cause and do it afraid no looking back! Life is such a precious gift and I am so over wasting it! I am ready to enjoy my journey and live out all God has planned for me! Things are happening I can feel it! I am changing not only physically but spiritually I am so much

                                                         ~Stronger~

Weigh-In Results

Down another 2 lbs which makes my grand total 20 lbs so far!!!!!!!! I have reached my first goal weight I am so stinking excited!! My next goal weight is another 20lbs less and I'm going to do it!! This is so much more than a weight loss journey for me! I am feeling so much better about myself and just about life in general!

I'm dancing a little jig in my chair right now!!!!!

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

A new heart

Ezekiel 36:26-31

New International Version (NIV)

²⁶ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ²⁷ And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. ²⁸ Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God. ²⁹ I will save you from all your uncleanness. I will call for the grain and make it plentiful and will not bring famine upon you. ³⁰ I will increase the fruit of the trees and the crops of the field, so that you will no longer suffer disgrace among the nations because of famine. ³¹ Then you will remember your evil ways and wicked deeds, and you will loathe yourselves for your sins and detestable practices.

A new heart? How is it possible to be given a new heart after all the things I have done? That's what is so humbling about God.... He sacrificed His son (yea yea I know you are tired of hearing that but just listen and breathe in these words) God gave His son so that we could live. SO THAT WE CAN LIVE! People it's so easy yet we make it so hard. We have a heavenly father that loves us so much and has scars to prove it. All He wants is our heart... He is reaching out with open arms no matter what you have done no matter where you are in life He wants to rescue you! How amazing is that ?!?

I'm going through this process of giving my life back to Him fully & it's not easy I won't lie. I have developed bad habits that are difficult to break and I have allowed a lot of resentment and bitterness and anger into my soul but Jesus is changing me and I can feel it! I'm excited! Today I was peeling an orange and I thought to myself this is my life right now...Jesus is slowly peeling away all the "build up" I have in my heart. Layer by layer He is tearing down my walls. What a beautiful thing.

                                        Christ asks you for nothing-

                                              Come just as you are;
                                           Come sinful, come guilty,

                                     Come give Him your heart -Anon