Dear Lysa Terkeurst

Dear Lysa,

   I thank God for your gift of writing! I also thank God for your heart for God and your willingness to share your struggles in books. I want to share with you my journey which you have had a beautiful part in.

You see I am a Jesus girl! I was saved at age 5 and I was always little miss goody two shoes Christian girl. I was very vocal on my beliefs and I always strived to do what was right in the eyes of God. I loved my Jesus very much! During our high school talent shows I would sing my Contemporary Christian songs while everyone else used Secular music. I won't ramble on much more but I just wanted to give you an idea of that part of me.

A few years ago I hit a season in life that just doesn't make sense for someone who has Jesus.....or does it? My husband and I pulled our membership out of the church we grew up in, the church we met at, the church we were baptized in, the church we got married in. I can't even pinpoint as to why? It all just happened so fast. Before I knew it I was spiraling down a dark path that led to food addiction which led to major weight gain, I turned to alcohol on bad days instead of Jesus, I hit a season of depression , and I also had thoughts of suicide. Looking back on it all my choices were a result of me taking God out of the center of my life. The most amazing truth is He still has plans for me and loves me no matter what. He died to give me life a life I had thoughts of ending. What a selfish selfish thought. He chose to show me His love in such a way I wish I could better describe. He reached in and rescued me from my depression pit and brought healing and a second chance.

As I was in my "recovery" season I came across your book 'Made To Crave' thanks to Melissa Taylor doing an online bible study. That book was a HUGE part of my transformation back to Jesus. I can't even thank you enough or express how blessed I feel....GLORY TO GOD!! I have such a new outlook on life even bigger then I did when I was that goody two shoes Jesus girl. I want everyone to know my God and I mean fully know Him! We were given such a beautiful gift that makes me just pause in awe thinking, WOW! He chose me to live out His plan. ME!! I want to live it right! I want to do all I can, grow all I can, behave all i can which leads me to Unglued. Oh my behaving like a Jesus girl is hard work but with God ALL things are possible!! I can't thank you enough for another great book! I can't thank Melissa Taylor enough for organizing the bible studies! Thank you ladies for allowing God to use you to help His people live this life strong!

I'm not where I need to be but I'm sure not where I was and for that I praise God!

I was absolutely made for more than a food addiction and being unglued!

Life brings choices and I choose imperfect progress!

♥

FINALLY

I saw a commercial on the new CBO sandwitch at McDonalds and my mouth just watered. (stupid advertising) Of course the thing has BACON on it! (((sigh))) Well the next day my coworker was headed to the golden arches and she asked if I wanted anything. DUH I told her to get me that sandwich. Then as I sat at my desk I could feel angel me on one shoulder and devil me on the other. As they were arguing back and forth I finally texted the coworker and told her NO!!!!!!!


YES I SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My flesh was throwing the biggest hissy fit EVER! I wanted to punch something, somebody, or throw something. It was awful!! HOWEVER I felt so empowered that I went home and put in an INSANITY workout!! A MONTH 2 workout this is how proud I was!

OH SHOOT


I'm not gonna lie I lost strength! BIG TIME!! I'm almost back to girl push ups but I guess that's what taking a two month break does to the body. I got through it with some fast forwarding involved...I predict I knocked 15 minutes off the workout but hey baby steps right???

HA

It felt good! One good decision at a time!


We can do this!! We were made for more!!

So much more!!

DIG DEEP
♥

Runaway Thoughts

I had every intentions of this being my breakthrough exercise post! I got off track big time with my healthy living and while I was sitting in the McDonald's parking lot today I thought to myself that this is absolutely ridiculous! This girl has got to get back on track! I received the sweetest message from my cousin telling me how thin I looked and it meant so much to me yet here I am ruining all my hard work with grease! I even texted an INSANITY girlfriend hoping it would keep me accountable. I'm sorry to say it did not. I came home in a rotten mood and did not exercise. I was so angry at the world. So irritated to go back to work after a beautiful week away visiting my sister and their new baby boy! I even prayed this morning asking God for help with my attitude but I felt like He went MIA today! Where was He? I prayed for help why didn't He help me? My attitude was awful and kept getting worse. I was so irritated by everyone around me. I wanted to just get up and walk out at one point I was so frustrated. I didn't want to be there at all! Don't you people get it? I am supposed to be doing something else! Every part of my being believes there is something else in this world I am supposed to be doing that I was not made to work where I work doing what I do for a paycheck! WHY GOD AM I STILL HERE!?!?!? I became very angry at God today! All these emotions inside of me, the hurt, the resentment, the bitterness, the pain I thought I released at Jesus' feet came bubbling up today all at once. Why? What am I doing wrong? Am I the worst Jesus girl? Should I just give up and face the "fact" that I will never be Christlike that it's just impossible? I'm destined to feel like this forever?

Then I read my email and Melissa Taylor, who is leading the online Unglued bible study based on Lysa Terkeurst's book, had a blog post about chapter 10 'Negative Inside Chatter'. This chapter was written for me my friends! I do this all day long no joke! I was reminded once again that I am not alone and that yes I absolutely can do this! I can make progress.....imperfect progress because I am not perfect but good news is that nobody is!

Here's a part of Melissa's blog post:
http://melissataylor.org/

Just take a peek at the first page of this chapter:

It’s time to tackle negative inside chatter—those misguided thoughts that can easily turn into perceptions that then all too easily turn into dangerous realities. And realities based on runaway feelings rather than truth always lead to one thing—insecurity….Toxic thoughts are so dangerous because they leave no room for truth to flourish. and lies are what reign in the absence of truth.

Thinking runaway, worrisome thoughts is just an invitation to anxiety.

WOW!!! For those of you who don't know me, a month ago I had a health scare that led me to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. After being hooked up to all kinds of machines, tested, poked, and prodded the doctor diagnosed me with stress. STRESS! How embarrassing! When I read this chapter it was just so clear to me that my runaway thoughts are destroying my health!! I don't want to be in bondage to my own mind any longer! I desperately long for peace.

"O God chisel me. I don't want to be locked in my hard places forever. I want to be free. I want to be all that You have in mind for me to be" -Unglued

 

Oh the INSANITY

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Good News: I finished a workout FINALLY after several days of not

Bad News: It was not a Month 2 Insanity workout it was a Month 1. I have been barely getting by with workouts this past month since my little health scare and let me tell you I have lost not only motivation but strength as well.

Good News: HOWEVER the good news is our bodies adapt very quickly so if I actually make an effort and keep this up I will be back in shape in no time!!


So the eating:

Well I finished an entire can of pringles by myself yesterday and then hubby grilled big juicy cheeseburgers for supper. I have also been on an iced coffee kick and no not the nonfat lattes I was getting before they are the sugar and cream loaded iced coffees. BAD BAD BAD! So I confessed of my eating sins on our 'Made For More' group page and guess what?!?

Who the crap cursed my iced coffee???? Huh? Huh? Because today I got one and it sucked monkey turds!! It was so disgusting I took a few sips and threw it out! There's $3.00 down the tube. :(


I'll take the hint it's back on track people it's back on track! I was made for more than laziness!! I was made for more than my stubborness!! I was made for more than an iced coffee addiction!

I can do this!!

HEADING NORTH!

& if I can do this so can you so put down the pringles, get off your bum, and go workout!

NOW

DIG DEEP!
♥