I'm sitting here trying to remember when I stopped loving myself and who I am. Maybe I never truly have I'm not even sure. I remember being called short and fat and dumb in elementary school was that when I decided I wanted to be somebody else? In junior high when the kids begged me to say a swear word because I was little miss church girl? In High School when I was the chubby cheerleader kept on the JV squad because of it. When did I truly ever like myself? I have been abusing my body for many many years. I started taking diet shakes at age 13, starving myself at 14, diet pills at 15 or 16. Overeating and alcohol now take over my life and as I look in the mirror I wonder what it's going to take for me to enjoy life and enjoy being me? How many other women share this "problem" ? Let's be honest not everyone is beautiful not to the world. Society has this perfect image yet nobody holds the trophy. If you are different in anyway you are put down and beaten for it. Maybe your fat, anorexic, gay, transgender, have a disability, that's not beautiful. How can we love ourself when the world doesn't? How do I rise above my inner feelings & emotions and accept me for me? How do I learn to love myself at 180lbs? Why am I so obsessed with weight yet I try and try and won't succeed? Why am I so obsessed with changing my look? Who am I trying to be?
You know what? We are beautiful! Every single one of us IS beautiful damnit!!!
I am taking you on my personal diet rollercoaster but this isn't just a diet this is a self discovery to loving myself and maybe just maybe I can help others learn to love themselves too.
No comments:
Post a Comment