I haven't really talked about my trip too much to really anyone yet I've been home for a few weeks now. For those that don't know I went to Nashville to learn about the Christian music industry. I'm sitting here trying to reflect and figure out what I'd like to share but....
I'm overwhelmed. The entire trip was much much bigger than just chasing a dream I've had since practically birth. I've been on this journey of finding out who I am and what my purpose is and little pieces of the puzzle have been fitting together these last few years and my trip to Nashville was yet another piece. No, I did not get a record deal or make it further in the competition part despite meeting a ton of great industry people but let me take a step back and talk about divine connections that were made in a different way.. I had many people pray that angels would surround me and that I would find a special girlfriend to hang around with. Well, I can absolutely tell you that those prayers were answered BIG TIME! I met a gentlemen at the airport who use to sing gospel music and as we were walking to retrieve our luggage he starts praying over me.....ummmm complete stranger praying that I would be surrounded by those who will increase me~ ANGEL? I'm not doubting it was. As soon as I got to registry, I stood listening to open mic time and I saw a girl out of the corner of my eye and we were immediate friends plus her and her mom were staying at the same hotel! BOOM! Well she was outgoing which this shy girl needed and she just walks over and introduces us to a group standing around and we were all immediate friends and I can honestly say this group encounter was MUCH bigger this was a God thing.
Competition- I entered the competition part of the workshop and as I was in this room waiting to sing I kept praying that the Holy Spirit would take over and sing through me. Well when I got up to sing I sang 100% in the flesh and I felt NOTHING and the judges hated it! They were nice about it but it was awful! In that moment after I sat down I had a choice to make....I could either let that ruin the rest of my trip, be mad at God for not helping me, and question why He sent me there OR I could take their advice (voice lessons) and move on and keep a soft heart and enjoy the trip. I pouted in the flesh for a few moments and then I moved on!! I was determined to stay humble!!! Later that week I figured out why I didn't make it further in the competition. I would've missed some major major classes that had a HUGE impact on me!! God is raising up an army of warriors and I am one of them!! For now I feel strongly to stay put where I am and to sing to the forgotten....to keep doing nursing homes, add in some hospitals, keep going to the streets and add worship, etc.. No, it's not glamorous and no I won't get paid therefore I won't be paying the bills doing something I love HOWEVER we are living in the end times my friends and this life is not my own I am here to bring glory to my heavenly Father!! I am not here to strive being famous or living the glamorous life!
The very last day of the trip we were sad to go so our little group sat outside and worshipped God. During the workshop we would go straight to the piano during breaks and just worship it was so fun! Well this last worship session was the most powerful moment! We had people join in as they walked by .... Spontaneous worship is AWESOME! We didn't know each other but we were in such unity worshipping our sweet KING! There were prayers going up for the army of worshipers God is raising up!! There were powerful prayers and songs flowing in Nashville the last night of my trip it was INCREDIBLE!
Since the trip I have come home and got back in the same old same old routine. I'm not going to lie there are days I have to fight to keep the fire burning! It's difficult not to start grumbling and feeling sorry for myself that I couldn't turn in my two week notice at work and go back to Nashville to cut my record. I feel a sense of urgency to live out my dreams yet I'm at the same old job just trying to figure out how to fit in this music thing... I sang at a Sr Living Center just yesterday and it's just so humbling to sit there and chat with the residents and sing hymns with them! One woman was telling me about her house and how hard she worked to keep the outside looking so nice with all the flowers but now she sits in the Sr Living Center while her kids are selling her house and she feels she worked hard for nothing
FOR NOTHING
It broke my heart!! Friends there is nothing on this earth we do for nothing! I told her I believe she will have flowerbeds in heaven to take care of!
Friends whatever it is that you were put on this earth to do please please seek God and do it!! You have a special purpose God loves you so much YOU are ALWAYS ALWAYS on HIS mind! He gave up EVERYTHING for you to have this life!! Surrender to HIM!!
I have no clue what is next for me but I will continue seeking God and drawing closer to HIM and allow Him to fill me up to pour me out! To breathe life into others! This life is not not not about me but ALL about HIM!!
Glory to God!!
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