Give It A See

I am insecure. I have moments when I do not feel good enough and I feel like I can never do anything right. I mentally beat myself up a lot. Today though yet again another piece of my heart has been built up! God showed up in such a very real very sweet way. This morning as I was doing a worship with the word set at the church office (which is singing scripture) God again revealed to me how special I am to Him. How He thinks I am this beautiful treasure. Friends we do not realize how special we are to Him. God chose ME!  God chose YOU! He has all this love that He wants to share with YOU! He knew you before you were created. He had it all planned out. Your hair color, your eyes, your height, your personality, your gifts, EVERYTHING! When I complain about hating the way I look or about a certain personality trait i have I am hurting God because He loves me just the way I am. I want you to recieve this:

GOD LOVES YOU AS YOU! Stop trying to be somebody else! Stop getting frustrated with yourself! You are not ugly! You are not dumb! You are so very special so stop beating yourself up! STOP! Just be you! Yes you are going to mess up that is just a part of life but God will never forsake you in your weaknesses! Life will tear you down but God is right there waiting ready to pick you up like a father picks up his little child after they have scraped their knee. Let Him kiss your boo boo and not only put a bandaid on the pain but completely heal it!

So if I'm not already a complete wreck with this new revelation of how God sees me I hear a really great song that was written by Darin Rex. Once again God spoke straight to my heart and even though this song is probably considered more secular God can use anything He wants- He is God!
So ok let's get real here what girl doesn't love a song telling her she is a shooting star? I mean come on now! The romantic in me melted at the chorus of this song but even deeper I felt God tell me to open my eyes! Give It A See, girl open your dang eyes! Ok the dang part was for dramatic effect but seriously I felt God say, "OPEN YOUR EYES! You are amazing! Listen to me!! Do you realize how great we are together?"

I encourage you to listen to this song! Whether you are thinking about a boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or even God maybe it's time you truly open your eyes to how amazing you are and how much you mean to that special someone AND to your heavenly Father. There are beautiful plans out there waiting for you....

IT'S TIME TO FLY

 www.darinrex.com 

Soundcloud Code

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Lovesick

I lost myself and have been on a journey looking for her. In April I took a trip to Ihop in Kansas City and I encountered God BIG TIME! I fell in love and I fell hard! It's almost like I left my love back in Kansas and I'm lovesick. I know He is everywhere I go but the presence is so thick there and He met me in such a special way. Ever since I've been back I feel like I'm living out Song of Solomon.

Let me set the scene- she has met the love of her life.So incredibly in love they are and it's such a beautiful, pure, and holy love but like any relationship things get rocky and I feel like I'm currently living in Chapter 3:

Song of Solomon 3 Amplified Bible (AMP)

3 In the night I dreamed that I sought the one whom I love. [She said] I looked for him but could not find him.

 ² So I decided to go out into the city, into the streets and broad ways [which are so confusing to a country girl], and seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him, but I could not find him.
 ³ The watchmen who go about the city found me, to whom I said, Have you seen him whom my soul loves?
 
Have you seen my love? I can not find Him and I long to be with Him! Oh friends, I fell so in love but there are moments I feel like I lost Him. I encountered Him in such a special way but I had to leave and now we have this long distance relationship. I'm here in Pennsylvania trying to plan our big wedding but I'm so lovesick. I long to hear His sweet voice!
Do you remember preparing for your wedding? After a while all the planning gets stressful and you just want to be married in fact you're ready to skip the big celebration and just elope... oh I am so ready to elope. I just want to run to heaven and meet my bridegroom face to face!

When I walked into the prayer room in Kansas I felt this heaviness come on me and I just wept. The music oh my gosh I struggle explaining it but it just was so heavenly! I got this glimpse of heaven and worshipping God night and day. God's presence is so real and so tangible and so close! The truth is we can walk in that daily we truly can! During that week God just revealed His love in such a way. I've heard Jesus loves me all my life but I haven't fully received it...I'm uncertain I still have fully received it but once you get a glimpse of His love oh my gosh it changes you. I also had words spoken over me that week that confirmed what I have been feeling for my future and it was such an incredible experience. I came home floating! It was that light, butterfly in your stomach, joyful always smiling in love type of feeling and it lasted a few weeks but I've been fighting to get that back ever since it faded. I have moments now where I almost feel angry and I've had moments that I have reacted on those emotions and I'm in the wrong completely! I'm not keeping my eyes on the one I claim to love. I'm living in my carnal nature and I'm looking to myself and circumstances and not trusting God and not letting His peace flow through me. I feel like such a foreigner. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I struggle with conversations, I hate the world and what it's become, I just want to worship God all day long- I know it seems so crazy according to the world but it's what I desire. Unfortunately I'm not exactly spreading God's love and I'm not exactly a ball of sunshine these days. So how do I live in God's presence daily? How do I shine His love? How do I let peace flow? How? I feel like I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my life doing things that do not matter so how do I go to work, do laundry, live life worshipping God? What does worshipping God in Spirit and in Truth look like on a daily basis? Even if I'm not living out my dreams currently? How do I live in His presence and share it with the world when life is not going the way I think it should go? When I'm struggling in areas or with people in my life how do I let God shine through me? I think of the verse in Timothy:

^{2 Timothy 1:7}
 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

So is the answer self-control and discipline? I have been given the ability to control my emotions. More importantly to control how I react to those emotions. I'm learning more and more if I wake up feeling heavy discouragement I can speak the word over the way I feel. I can build myself up in faith.

Jude 1:20

But you, beloved, build yourselves up [founded] on your most holy faith [make progress, rise like an edifice higher and higher], praying in the Holy Spirit;

 

I have the choice to live in my emotions or be determined to keep my eyes on God and speak truth over my emotions and build myself up praying in the Spirit daily. I may feel lovesick but the truth is God is close and He is with me and I don't have to live like I'm so miserable. I have His joy! His joy is my strength!

I will continue running after Him with all of my heart until that glorious wedding day! And I am determined to take people with me and not turn them away but I can't do it without the help of God working through me! I will cling tightly to those moments when I feel God's presence. I surrender my will oh Lord! I desire to be so yielded to You that living in the Spirit always is so real to me and those who are around me! You are so good! You are so beautiful! You are so lovely, so worthy, so full of glory! I am so in love with you and I will wait patiently for that wedding day!

 

♥