When you see the word humility what do you see? Who do you think of? What is being humble?
You see I always thought I was humble because I thought lowly of myself. That's being humble right? Thinking yourself as lowly. Right? That's what I was taught in church. We are not supposed to be conceited it is a demand from God to not think of yourself as better than everyone else.
So what if a Christian has confidence?
Is that conceit or are we judging her as being conceited if she walks with her head held high knowing in her heart who God says she is ' a daughter of a king'. ????
How much have we truly messed this up?
I don't know about you but I need freed from this because it's ruining what God has planned for my life. I can't get past my insecurities deep within. I have taken 'Do Not Be Conceited' to an entire opposite direction.
12/28/13
I wrote that in November and never finished it. I sit here at my computer honestly saying God is freeing me from the bondages of insecurities, people pleasing, of past hurts & judgments, lies....
There was a picture of me posted on Facebook and I was holding a beer!
*gasp*
Christians aren't supposed to drink
are they?
That's what I was taught growing up.. thou shalt not drink alcohol.
2013 has been truly a year of sifting and questioning and crying out to God and just sitting before Him and wow so much more!! Alcohol is a touchy subject with the religious probably right up there with homosexuality. The different opinions of alcohol can cause division within the church it's absolutely insane! I can honestly sit here and tell you I didn't drink the entire beer that was in my hand. I know my limits and my God does tell me not to get drunk that is in His word. I personally don't feel it's alcohol that's the sin it's how we treat the alcohol. Sex isn't a sin until we do it outside of marriage or with a partner of the same gender. Food what about food? It's for nourishment right BUT it can turn into sin when we become a glutton right?
So then I think to myself if too much alcohol causes me to be drunk and I want to walk in the Holy Spirit always then what's the point of even drinking quite honestly..... not truly sure. Most people drink just to get drunk I mean let's be honest there is a party spirit in this generation.
Anyway this is all besides the point because what I'm truly wanting to talk about is the judgment of it all. I've had so many judgments thrown at me over the years so the minute I saw the picture posted of me I immediately was stricken with fear and condemnation. I mean I was sick to my stomach. My brain automatically went to the what are people going to think? I started a new church and I'm on the worship team and I post all of this "religious" stuff on facebook I AM A FRAUD! I AM A FAKE! I AM A FAILURE! blah blah blah LIES LIES LIES!!! I took a deep breath and I started talking to God right there at my desk at work. I cried out to Him asking Him what He thought. I honestly prayed my guts out before the wedding months ago because I knew this would be an issue. I asked God about the alcohol thing and now here I am with a picture a very permanent picture regardless if I untag myself it's still there...
I asked God His thoughts because I don't want to fail Him and I don't want to misrepresent the church as a whole. I do not want to cause anyone else to stumble..
Do you know what He said to me?
"You are my daughter whom I am well pleased."
He said that to ME
Right now I would be posting my emoticon of the smiley crying it's eyes out. The overwhelming feeling that God is pleased with me was the most incredible feeling I have ever experienced. And in that moment I was freed from worrying about what everyone else was going to think. I am a child of the most High GOD! I am part of the royal family! WOW WOW WOW!! This God who sent His son (HIMSELF) to the world to save it! A drop of His blood would've saved us but he poured let me repeat
POURED out HIS blood for us on the cross by dying. Then He leaves us His Spirit...the helper! We have help to live this life!! WOW WOW WOW!!
I remember saying to someone that if we would just get a glimpse of God's love for us we would live differently! Ummmm well I was spot on with that comment! I can't even explain to you the freedom and the joy that has come over me! I AM NOT PERFECT! I am a sinner saved by grace! There is nothing I can ever do to repay God back for what He has done..... that is GRACE! He loves me! He loves me! He loves me! Repeat this- He loves me!! He loves ME! I am HIS child!!!!!!!!
HALLELUJAH!!!
We spend so much time telling eachother what not to do. What if we would share God's love I mean truly share God's love and allow eachother to receive it and then let God deal with their sins. Because let me tell you the closer I get to God the filthier my sins become and I want rid of them! I believe God is taking me higher and there are things I will need to let go of and things that maybe aren't even truly sins but just things that could turn into sin- does that even make sense?!?
I am so in love with the most high GOD!!!
♥