I have been a follower of Jesus forever. I was raised in a church, got saved at age 5 and I've never questioned what I was being taught I just always took every single morsel as truth.
Fast forward several years later and I feel like I'm in this season of questioning everything! I'm not questioning that God is real because there is just no doubt in my being about that. I'm just questioning a lot of creation, sin, free will, disease, etc.. With that said I feel God wants us to do this. He created us with these brains that can go so so deep with knowledge and although we will never fully have all the knowledge of God until we are in heaven and in our new perfect bodies I think it's ok to keep seeking and keep asking for more knowledge. The Holy Spirit was given so we could receive more..
With all that said I want to take you to an experience this week that is really making me wonder what is going on with me?! WOW! There is a baby I just found out about and he is due next week. This baby has a rare condition and he will be born without part of his brain, scalp, etc.. I know very little about this situation, very little about the family (started reading their story), but I have this strong strong feeling that he is going to be born healthy. HOW CRAZY right?!? I will tell you that earlier in the year God called me to intercession for Israel but it's become so much more. I just pray for EVERYTHING!! During intercession this past week I felt so strong in my spirit that this baby is fine! I wish I could explain this boldness I feel it's just so incredible! While everyone has accepted that this baby is not going to live long I am believing for health! I feel it so strongly that I spewed out these words at work the other day like word vomit. It just came pouring out without me even taking the chance to stop it! I started passionately asking, "Where is our faith? We serve this incredible Great God where is our faith?! I believe God's plan is for this baby to live." and so on something like that. My point was why are we all sitting around feeling sorry for this baby? Why are we taking the doctor's diagnosis for truth? (crazy right) Why don't we all just be radical and start praying for a miracle? These are my thoughts kids...these are my thoughts.
Ok so let's go deeper and if God's plan for this baby is indeed health why doesn't He choose to heal everyone? Why this person and not that person? Oh friends I wish I knew! If He performed miracles all the time would we truly seek His face? Isn't that awful selfish of Him? Friends, these are absolutely the questions I ask God Himself and He is totally ok with it and I think sometimes He just sits there and chuckles. Him and I have had many conversations about this free will thing. It just boggles my mind. Sometimes I wonder how much we cut our own lives short because of this free will. We have choices. We can choose to drink alcohol and get in the vehicle, we can choose to eat junk food all the time and risk a heart attack, etc.. Then I think of cancer and how awful it is. Why? Why is it hurting so many families? I don't know all I know is this land is cursed because of the fall of Adam and thank God for His spirit because I could not live day to day without Him! I can't answer the questions why God has healed Suzie Que and not Fred I just don't have the answers.
I do know that I feel I am being called to an even deeper level of intercession and I will continue to do my best at being obedient with what God puts on my heart to pray for. I will be praying for this baby until he is born.
We are living in exciting times friends! Exciting times!
